Library

I’ve always kept notes on the things I learn — thoughts, words, explanations that helped me understand what had happened in my own body and my own head. The Library is that collection, opened up for anyone who listens.

Every track on this site carries a story behind it, and sometimes a short line under the player isn’t enough to tell it. When that happens, I write a longer piece here instead — a note with room to breathe, one that can explain why a particular track sounds the way it does, or what was going on when it was made.

What you’ll find here

Most of these pieces circle around two words I’ve come to know well these past couple of years: brain fatigue and apraxia. Brain fatigue is the tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix — it creeps in after too much noise, too much to keep track of, too much happening at once. Apraxia is the difficulty of getting the body to do what the mind has already decided — a movement that should be simple, but suddenly takes real effort. Both are part of what I carry since my stroke and cancer, and both have shaped how I listen to, and make, music today.

Alongside those, you’ll also find shorter notes on things that are simply useful for me to have written down — practical lessons, small things I don’t want to forget, little tricks that have carried me through a day when my head wasn’t cooperating. If they’re useful to you too, all the better.

How it connects to the music

Nothing here stands entirely on its own. Every piece in the Library is tied to a specific track — read it as a window into what was behind that particular composition, rather than a general guide to a topic. You can arrive here directly from a track’s page when you want to know more about what’s behind it, or browse the Library freely and let the writing lead you back to the music it belongs to.

The Library is growing

This isn’t a finished collection — it fills in as new tracks arrive. Come back in a few months and you’ll likely find more shelves than you do today.

Why I share this

I don’t write these pieces as an expert on brain fatigue or apraxia. I write them as someone living in the middle of what they describe, who’s found that music — and the words around it — is a way of making sense of it for myself. If something you read here feels familiar, or helps you understand your own path a little better, the Library has done its job.

The personal reflections shared on this site describe my own experience only. They are not medical advice and are not a substitute for guidance from a qualified healthcare professional.